As I said (repeating myself is the easy way out, sigh), the travel team coach called late last night to say I wouldn't be needed and since saving $25 was the best I could make of that, so I didn't call either of the other tournaments that asked me to play. It was too late. I was too lazy. I saved money. Yeah, all great reasons. Right. Sigh.
So as I said, again, instead I wandered Facebook and played Bridge on the computer all night and into the morning. I have new Facebook pages that I will link somewhere eventually and hope for someone to notice and appreciate the time and energy and ideas I put out there. I am even tired of begging for attention, sigh.
I took a nap around 10ish and woke about noon and took a shower and texted Curly who was supposed to be working on his mom's pool. He texted back just before I fel back to sleep and texted that I should come to his mom's in a bathing suit and bring change of clothes, which meant I was helping with the pool and then we were heading to his house for dinner, cards, and games. That's what happened. Pool, dinner, cards and games. Fun. And a sigh.
Yes, you read most of that already if you came from the brief blog. I should have more to say, probably lots, but the sighs are in the way tonight. Nobody cares around here except Curly and I am feeling abandoned by Jackson too much again (getting past it is not easy when I am not working and watching savings dwindle and wondering if I will be selling the car by the end of the year and wondering if I will just give up on everything and knowing I gave way too much to her and the promise that she'd be there for me drills into my heart and sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh). Stop beating me up, I hear her saying. Or is that me. Sigh.
I've been dragging myself around feeling down cuz I can. The entitled luzury of being alone in this country where I can get lost and be forgotten. Why have I not applied for unemplyment insurance, people ask. I don't like handouts from the government, perhaps. Not pride, ethics. I don't want to wake the IRS up the fact that I don't do what everyone else does because I follow the law and don't cave into fear or peer pressure. I don't want to work at the moment. I don't want to shake it off and take care of myself at the moment. I want to indulge my taste buds even if it means getting fat and spiralling into a depression. I wonder what it would be like if I did. Sigh.
There is a peanut gallery of characters, facets of my personality, that are enjoying this. Most are laughing at me right now as I type these words. Most don't care much about life or anything except the moment and for the moment, they are having fun watching me do stupid things. Some voices simply say if nobody else cares, why should I? Other voices simply are along for the ride. Hitchhiker's Guide, page 666.
Which brings us to these six links:
and the following photo:
that may have nothing to do with anything other than the Hitchhiker's Guide reference you will just have to experience in your own way if you aren't here (or weren't there). Sigh. Maybe it was seven. The insect bite on the back of my neck is very distracting.
You? :)
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